Nothing can replace parents

Today, I wish I had one more day with her. Just to sit listening to her tell me stories of my childhood, holding her frail hands, sharing a meal with her and watching her sleep, snoring softly. Life can be very unforgiving and sometime we get no second chance. Feeling orphaned need not always be the feeling of a young boy, who has lost both his parents. I feel it now, today, and this will remain forever.

As a family man with children and grandchildren of my own, the relevance of my parents was often not realised. Most significant things are realised when they are lost. Losing both of your parents, no matter what age you are, can be painful and scary. You may find that your family structure has suddenly changed and the people you’ve relied on for years aren’t there anymore. It can be exposing, vulnerable and lonely.

Terms like ‘adult orphan’, ‘double parental bereavement’ or ‘double parental loss’ being used to describe your situation, you may be wondering what this all actually means. ‘Adult orphan’ is not a situation we do not like to be in. When you think of an orphan, you’ll probably be thinking of someone under the age of 18 who has lost both of their parents. An adult, with real-life responsibilities like paying bills or having a full-time job or even having kids and grandkids of their own, may not be the first image that comes to mind.

Yet the feeling is very real. Whatever secure place you are in, you still feel lonely without parents. They have been the umbrellas that hid you from the hot sun and the wet rains. Today I stand exposed to the torments of life, and all the condoling kind words and never really take the sorrow away from me.

Goodbye my mother……You were never ever second to me.

He shed light even as he wallowed in darkness

Age invariably catches up with even the greatest, best and the mightiest, as it did for our dear “Stewart Sir” too. Towards the end of a life, centered on his dear students, despite his multiple ailment, he still stood like a Rock of Gibraltar to all who sought help and advice from him. With failing eyesight, he saw us with the eyes that only love can provide. When I last met him, he was almost completely in the dark but still felt and acknowledged my presence. He even had words to add to the epilogue of my autobiographical book, “No Blushes”, a book in which he gets ample mention, owing to the closeness we maintained.

He was one of the pillars on which the greatness of Mar Ivanios College rested. His contribution to the renowned status of this great educational institution is definitely beyond compare. Definitely a name that ranks with that of the most illustrious teachers in Kerala. Mar Ivanios owes a great deal to him.

To me personally, he was always a guiding light, even in the darkest of my days. His rare ability to spot your unique talents, invariably showed the pathway for many as it did for me. He had taught me, my wife and my two daughters. Today, following on his illustrious footsteps, almost fitting into the exact mode is his daughter, Prof Dr Shirley Stewart, a sister to me.

However a light went out of my life, when Prof James Stewart closed his eyes for the last time. But he will live on in my life as long as I live.